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Cellular Phone Forum / Country Specific / Australian Group / September 2008Telstra boldly launches the BlackBerry Bold... first
From http://www.itwire.com/content/view/20087/1103/ Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. This is the latest chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra, it's continuing mission to deliver new handsets, to seek out new customers and extend existing contracts, and to boldly go where its competitors will soon follow: the launch of the BlackBerry Bold! First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace is the dominant local telco, Telstra, to "selected business customers", all of whom are expected to be human (because Klingons, Ferengi, Vulcans, Romulans, Andorians and others are but characters on a certain well known sci-fi show). Arriving at warp speed over the weekend on a special shipment from Europe (because reliable teleportation doesn't yet exist), Telstra says it has taken this special action "to meet high demand from customers" - and no doubt to be able to issue a "we're first" press release which is being science fictionalised with every passing word. Set to retail for AUD $999, the Bold is also available on a range of plans to suit "enterprise and business customers' needs", although one of the most popular will likely be Telstra's standard $80 plan over 24 monthly stardate cycles, (min cost $1920 plus usage) although this plan does not include email access, which is as important to the BlackBerry as dilithium crystals are to Starships. Telstra says it has also has an "exclusive email plan offer on the $89.95 BlackBerry email plan for customers connecting 24 months with existing BlackBerry Enterprise Solution software including 200MB of data free for the first 2 months (after which excess usage charges apply), with a minimum cost of $2158.80 plus usage. After the first two months, standard PAYG charges apply. While these prices seem high enough that you'll need to live long and prosper to pay them off, they're quite standard prices for today's stellar smartphones. That said I can cetainly imagine the Ferengi wanting to strike a bargain for a better rate, although even the Ferengi would undoubtedly find Telstra to be a formidable and likely unmoving negotiator. Telstra also tries its own Corbomite Maneuvre by suggesting that "there are additional benefits for customers who move their BlackBerry services back to Telstra." A BlackBerry Bold shimmered its way into my life a few days ago when a review model materialised (thanks to the rather archaic technology of the physical courier) and I've had a chance to have a play with what is arguably the galaxy's best handheld email "communicator". Its beautiful screen seems less than half the size of the iPhone's, but has the same resolution, delivering stunning image quality, while its 3G chipset makes for fast email and web page delivery. Powered-up with HTML email capability, the bland text emails of the past are no longer, with HTML emails delivering the much richer experience we're used to on desktop computers. Wota packa w.nkers... Alan Poxington <w.nker@iarsethiscountry,com.au> wrote > From > http://www.itwire.com/content/view/20087/1103/ > Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. Must be one of those rocket scientist w.nkers. > This is the latest chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra, Wota f.cking w.nker... > it's continuing mission to deliver new handsets, Corse no one else ever does anything like that, eh ? > to seek out new customers and extend existing contracts, Corse no one else ever does anything like that, eh ? > and to boldly go where its competitors will soon > follow: the launch of the BlackBerry Bold! Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace Not with the iphone they werent. > is the dominant local telco, Telstra, Thanks for that completely superfluous proof that you have never ever had a f.cking clue. > to "selected business customers", Translation: Telstra got f.ck all of them. > all of whom are expected to be human (because Klingons, > Ferengi, Vulcans, Romulans, Andorians and others are but characters on a certain well known sci-fi show). Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > Arriving at warp speed over the weekend Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > on a special shipment from Europe (because reliable teleportation doesn't yet exist), Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > Telstra says it has taken this special action "to meet high demand from customers" Translation: Telstra is WAY behind the market, as always. > - and no doubt to be able to issue a "we're first" press release which is being science fictionalised with every > passing word. Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > Set to retail for AUD $999, You'll have to pardon us if we dont actually swoon, child. > the Bold is also available on a range of plans to suit "enterprise and business customers' needs", Translation: Just another obscene Telstra ripoff. > although one of the most popular will likely be Telstra's standard $80 plan over 24 monthly stardate cycles, Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > (min cost $1920 plus usage) Wota f.cking ripoff. > although this plan does not include email access, Just another spectacular footshot. > which is as important to the BlackBerry as dilithium crystals are to Starships. Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > Telstra says it has also has an "exclusive email plan offer on the > $89.95 BlackBerry email plan for customers connecting 24 months with existing BlackBerry Enterprise Solution software > including 200MB of data free for the first 2 months (after which excess usage charges apply), with a minimum cost of > $2158.80 plus usage. After the first two months, standard PAYG charges apply. Wota f.cking ripoff. > While these prices seem high enough that you'll need to live long and prosper to pay them off, they're quite standard > prices for today's stellar smartphones. Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > That said I can cetainly imagine the Ferengi wanting to strike a > bargain for a better rate, although even the Ferengi would undoubtedly find Telstra to be a formidable and likely > unmoving negotiator. Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > Telstra also tries its own Corbomite Maneuvre by suggesting that > "there are additional benefits for customers who move their > BlackBerry services back to Telstra." Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > A BlackBerry Bold shimmered its way into my life a few days ago Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > when a review model materialised (thanks to the rather archaic technology of the physical courier) Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > and I've had a chance to have a play with what is arguably the galaxy's best handheld email "communicator". Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. > Its beautiful screen seems less than half the size of the iPhone's, Just another steaming turd. > but has the same resolution, delivering stunning image quality, while its 3G chipset makes for fast email and web page > delivery. You'll have to pardon us if we dont actually cream our jeans, child. > Powered-up with HTML email capability, the bland text emails of the past are no longer, with HTML emails delivering > the much richer experience we're used to on desktop computers. Let go of your dick before you end up completely blind, child. >> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace > > Not with the iphone they werent. they launched iphone same day as everyone else, roddles on a plate >>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace >> Not with the iphone they werent. > they launched iphone same day as everyone else, Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. >>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate > lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. what, you are trying to say that optus sold them at 11pm the night before so that means telstra didn;t launch them on day 1? ** Posted from http://www.teranews.com ** > Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace >>>> Not with the iphone they werent. >>> they launched iphone same day as everyone else, >> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. > what, you are trying to say that optus sold them at 11pm the night > before so that means telstra didn;t launch them on day 1? Nope, not saying anything even remote resembling anything like that, fuckwit. >>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace >> [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > what, you are trying to say that optus sold them at 11pm the night before > so that means telstra didn;t launch them on day 1? God knows what he is one about. When he doesnt take the pills, he gets VERY vague** Posted from http://www.teranews.com ** >>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian >>>>>> marketplace [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >> what, you are trying to say that optus sold them at 11pm the night >> before so that means telstra didn;t launch them on day 1? > God knows what he is one about. I'm not one about anything, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate dunny cleaning fuckwit child. <reams of your deriviative sh.t flushed where it belongs> >>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate > lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. Sure they did. 11 July >>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian >>>>> marketplace [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely >> illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. > Sure they did. 11 July Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. >>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian >>>>>> marketplace [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely > illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. Guy on my floor was the first person to buy an iphone on July 11. Refer MX newspaper - he was on the cover >>>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian >>>>>>> marketplace [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > Refer MX newspaper - he was on the cover Notice the sounds of silence from Rod now? Yes, perhaps the piece of sh.t Telstra Dealer in Griffith N.S.W. didn't have them on day one; though such country hicks should be banned from having them at any time. ** Posted from http://www.teranews.com ** >>>>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian >>>>>>>> marketplace [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Notice the sounds of silence from Rod now? Yes, he's a tool > Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace >>>>>> Not with the iphone they werent. >>>>> they launched iphone same day as everyone else, >>>> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. >>> Sure they did. 11 July >> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. > Guy on my floor was the first person to buy an iphone on July 11. Irrelevant to when they LAUNCHED it, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. > Refer MX newspaper - he was on the cover Irrelevant to when they LAUNCHED it, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. >> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > Irrelevant to when they LAUNCHED it, you stupid pig ignorant > completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. So if they didn't launch on July 11, how were Telstra iPhone customers affected by this? http://www.smh.com.au/news/iphone-insider/telstra-glitch-causes-iphone-meltdown/ 2008/07/11/1215658116672.html "Telstra glitch causes iPhone meltdown Matthew Burgess *July 11, 2008* - 4:38PM A hardware glitch at Telstra has left some buyers of the new 3G iPhone unable to make telephone calls after today's Australian launch of the much-hyped mobile device." Looks like you f.cked up yeat again, Rod.  SignatureKwyj. > Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>>>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace >>>>>>>> Not with the iphone they werent. >>>>>>> they launched iphone same day as everyone else, >>>>>> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. >>>>> Sure they did. 11 July >>>> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. >>> Guy on my floor was the first person to buy an iphone on July 11. >> Irrelevant to when they LAUNCHED it, you stupid pig ignorant >> completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. > So if they didn't launch on July 11, how were Telstra iPhone customers affected by this? > http://www.smh.com.au/news/iphone-insider/telstra-glitch-causes-iphone-meltdown/ 2008/07/11/1215658116672.html Those that got them on that date has a useless stream turd for however long it took to fix that, fuckwit. > "Telstra glitch causes iPhone meltdown > Matthew Burgess > *July 11, 2008* - 4:38PM > A hardware glitch at Telstra has left some buyers of the new 3G iPhone unable to make telephone calls after today's > Australian launch of the much-hyped mobile device." Just another fuckwit journo that hasnt got a f.cking clue. Hopefully one of those they have just sacked. >> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > Just another fuckwit journo that hasnt got a f.cking clue. Hopefully one > of those they have just sacked. He was spot on. They were launched on Jul 11, sold on Jul 11 and unable to be activated due to a hardware issue' Tool >>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] >> Just another fuckwit journo that hasnt got a f.cking clue. Hopefully >> one of those they have just sacked. > He was spot on. Nope. > They were launched on Jul 11, Nope. > sold on Jul 11 and unable to be activated due to a hardware issue' So no one could actually use their steaming turd on Jul 11, and so telstra was LAST, as always, you stupid pig ignorant lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. >>>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>>>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote [quoted text clipped - 48 lines] > > So no one could actually use their steaming turd on Jul 11, Yes they were. "A hardware glitch at Telstra has left some buyers of the new 3G iPhone unable to make telephone calls after today's Australian launch of the much-hyped mobile device." *Some*, not all. > and so > telstra was LAST, as always, you stupid pig ignorant lying dunny > cleaning fuckwit child. You should have stuck with the announce/sell distinction. > Rod Speed wrote >>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>>>>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>>>>>>> Rod Speed <rod.speed.aaa@gmail.com> wrote >>>>>>>>>>>>> First to launch RIM's BlackBerry Bold into the Australian marketplace >>>>>>>>>>>> Not with the iphone they werent. >>>>>>>>>>> they launched iphone same day as everyone else, >>>>>>>>>> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant >>>>>>>>>> completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. >>>>>>>>> Sure they did. 11 July >>>>>>>> Bare faced pig ignorant lie, you stupid pig ignorant >>>>>>>> completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. >>>>>>> Guy on my floor was the first person to buy an iphone on July 11. >>>>>> Irrelevant to when they LAUNCHED it, you stupid pig ignorant >>>>>> completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. >>>>> So if they didn't launch on July 11, how were Telstra iPhone >>>>> customers affected by this? >>>>> http://www.smh.com.au/news/iphone-insider/telstra-glitch-causes-iphone-meltdown/ 2008/07/11/1215658116672.html >>>> Those that got them on that date has a useless stream turd for >>>> however long it took to fix that, fuckwit. >>>>> "Telstra glitch causes iPhone meltdown Matthew Burgess >>>>> *July 11, 2008* - 4:38PM >>>>> A hardware glitch at Telstra has left some buyers of the new 3G >>>>> iPhone unable to make telephone calls after today's Australian >>>>> launch of the much-hyped mobile device." >>>> Just another fuckwit journo that hasnt got a f.cking clue. >>>> Hopefully one of those they have just sacked. >>> He was spot on. >> Nope. >>> They were launched on Jul 11, >> Nope. >>> sold on Jul 11 and unable to be activated due to a hardware issue' >> So no one could actually use their steaming turd on Jul 11, > Yes they were. Yes they were what ? > "A hardware glitch at Telstra has left some buyers of the > new 3G iPhone unable to make telephone calls after today's > Australian launch of the much-hyped mobile device." > *Some*, not all. Just because some fuckwit claims that doesnt make it gospel. >> and so telstra was LAST, as always, you stupid pig ignorant lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. > You should have stuck with the announce/sell distinction. You should check what launched actually means. >>>> They were launched on Jul 11, > [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > Just because some fuckwit claims that doesnt make it gospel. Its fact - I was across it. New activations were not possible. You could always put your existing SIM into your new iphone and voila it worked fine >>>>> They were launched on Jul 11, >>>> Nope. >>>>> sold on Jul 11 and unable to be activated due to a hardware issue' >>>> So no one could actually use their steaming turd on Jul 11, >>> Yes they were. >> Yes they were what ? >>> "A hardware glitch at Telstra has left some buyers of the >>> new 3G iPhone unable to make telephone calls after today's >>> Australian launch of the much-hyped mobile device." >>> *Some*, not all. >> Just because some fuckwit claims that doesnt make it gospel. > Its fact - I was across it. The only thing you're ever across is the Mex's arse. > New activations were not possible. You could always put your existing SIM into your new iphone and voila it worked > fine Irrelevant to what was being discussed, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. >>> They were launched on Jul 11, > [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Irrelevant to what was being discussed, you stupid pig ignorant completely > illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. You complete and utter liar. We were discussing whether the phone was launched on July 11. If it was able to be sold in a T-Shop and used, then it launched. Furious squirming from the Rodbot. Tool. >>>> They were launched on Jul 11, >>>>>> Nope. >>>>>>> sold on Jul 11 and unable to be activated due to a hardware issue' >>>>>> So no one could actually use their steaming turd on Jul 11, >>>>> Yes they were. >>>> Yes they were what ? >>>>> "A hardware glitch at Telstra has left some buyers of the >>>>> new 3G iPhone unable to make telephone calls after today's >>>>> Australian launch of the much-hyped mobile device." >>>>> *Some*, not all. >>>> Just because some fuckwit claims that doesnt make it gospel. >>> Its fact - I was across it. >> The only thing you're ever across is the Mex's arse. >>> New activations were not possible. You could always put your >>> existing SIM into your new iphone and voila it worked fine >> Irrelevant to what was being discussed, you stupid pig ignorant >> completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. > You complete and utter liar. Cant even manage its own lines, or anything else at all, either. > We were discussing whether the phone was launched on July 11. Wrong, as always. > If it was able to be sold in a T-Shop and used, then it launched. Wrong, as always. >> If it was able to be sold in a T-Shop and used, then it launched. > > Wrong, as always. The last thing you "launched" was your PMG treadly, Roddles... >>>> So if they didn't launch on July 11, how were Telstra iPhone >>>> customers affected by this? [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > LAST, as always, you stupid pig ignorant lying dunny cleaning fuckwit > child. Launched means to sell. It was sold on July 11. And if you were upgrading not connecting a new number, your SIM went in fine and worked fine. > Launched means to sell. It was sold on July 11. And if you were upgrading > not connecting a new number, your SIM went in fine and worked fine. Don't throw facts at "Speedy".. you'll confuse the old petal.. >>>>> So if they didn't launch on July 11, how were Telstra iPhone >>>>> customers affected by this? [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] >> >>> sold on Jul 11 and unable to be activated due to a hardware issue' >> So no one could actually use their steaming turd on Jul 11, and so telstra was >> LAST, as always, you stupid pig ignorant lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. > Launched means to sell. Wrong, as always, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. > It was sold on July 11. Irrelevant to what was being discussed, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. > And if you were upgrading not connecting a new number, your SIM went in fine and worked fine. Irrelevant to what was being discussed, you stupid pig ignorant completely illiterate lying dunny cleaning fuckwit child. > Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. This is the latest > chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra w.nk extraordinaire! >> Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. This is the latest >> chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra > > w.nk extraordinaire! The same "reporter" (Alex Zaharov-Reutt) regularly clarifies in his articles that 3's Marketing Director, Noel Hamill, is "no relation to Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame". http://www.itwire.com/content/view/19050/1103/ Noel Hamill, Director Sales, Marketing & Product at 3, no relation to Star Wars actor Mark Hamill of Luke Skywalker fame, explained that: “Ever since Apple’s announcement that a 3G iPhone is coming, we’ve had lots of calls and emails – the main flavour is people wanting to get the value that 3 offers with the iPhone.” http://www.itwire.com/content/view/19700/1103/ Noel Hamill, Director Sales, Marketing and Product at 3 Mobile, and no known relation to Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame said: “3’s customers want great value on data and they want to use more of it – so bringing them better value with more data allowances is something we believe in. Whether you’re using the internet on your mobile phone or on your laptop, we think these new options will be a good match.” http://www.itwire.com/content/view/19753/1103/1/1/ Noel Hamill, Director Sales, Marketing and Product, 3, and sadly, of no known relation to Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame, said: “3’s all about great voice and data value. With the 3G SIM and Data Starter Kit we think Apple’s 3G iPhone customers will be able to get more use of their iPhone on 3, with much more value to those living in our Broadband Zones.” It’s a shame that Noel doesn’t have a lightsaber to hand because he could then slice through those horrible roaming data charges that are the bane of 3 Mobile customers and make me think twice about the true value of this plan, because of the unpredictable additional costs. >>> Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. This is the latest >>> chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > the bane of 3 Mobile customers and make me think twice about the true > value of this plan, because of the unpredictable additional costs. Found another one. http://www.itwire.com/content/view/18405/1103/1/1/ Hamill, likely no relation to Mark of Star Wars fame, said: "Business take up of mobile broadband is growing rapidly because small business owners and executives want to get online on the move, without an expensive plan and with a device that's really easy to use and looks good. Style is getting to be an important factor, just like it is with a mobile phone." >>> Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. This is the latest >>> chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > articles that 3's Marketing Director, Noel Hamill, is "no relation to > Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame". No doubt in the hope that search engines will send people to his articles who didn't really want to go there. >>>> Telecommunications, an ever expanding frontier. This is the latest >>>> chapter in the voyages of the Starship Telstra [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > No doubt in the hope that search engines will send people to his articles > who didn't really want to go there. No other way of getting people to read his sh.t-rags. I think the guy fantasizes of bum-f.cking Hammill. ** Posted from http://www.teranews.com ** |
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