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                           THE JF MEZEI FAQ

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1.  Who is JF Mezei?

Jean-Francois Mezei is the worst netkook and megatroll to have ever hit
rec.travel.air and various other usenet newsgroups.  He is also one of the
longest running trolls in usenet history.

2.  How long has he been trolling?

For well over a decade.

3.  Where does he live?

Jean-Francois Mezei
86 Harwood Gate
Beaconsfield, QC H9W3A3
(514) 695-8259

4.  What makes him such a malicious troll?

His trolling is constant, repetitious, relentless.  Once he invades your
newsgroup he will stay for decades, troll around the clock, day in and day
out, every day of the year, for years and years on end.  He does not listen
to pleas to stop, he does not listen to anything anyone tells him, he does
not pay attention when the misinformation/disinformation he posts is
corrected, he just goes right on trolling year in, year out like a little
child holding his ears closed while yelling "I can't hear you, I can't hear
anything you say!"

5.  What does he troll about?

His favorite subjects are USA-bashing and anything to do with sex.  He
hates the USA and Americans and will hijack any thread and turn it into a
USA-bashing fest.  If he can't do that then he'll just start making lewd
posts.

6.  What does he hate about the USA?

Everything!  He is part of a larger group of Canadian trolls who have a
visceral hatred of the USA, motivated by envy mostly.  The USA is a
happier, better, more successful version of their country and they can't
stand it.  Some of JF's favorite troll bait is "the Bush regime", "the
Bush-Rumsfeld-Wolfowitz axis of evil", "Americans are brainwashed", "Cars
are evil", "SUVs are evil", "all Americans are stupid" etc.

7.  What about his sexual trolling?

Ah, that is JF at his trolling best.  No sexual topic is too bizarre.
Among his favorites are child sexuality, masturbation, women's genitalia,
sex toys, circumcision, the sex lives of Americans (of course) ... the list
is endless.

8.  Circumcision???

Yes, JF trolled the circumcision newsgroups for years.  He still likes to
insert circumcision into his trolling every now and then.  Apparently, JF
was traumatized as a child because his parents, poor Hungarian immigrants
to Canada, left him uncircumcised when he was born, as is the custom in
most of the world.  Growing up in Canada where male infant circumcision was
prevalent at the time, he was psychologically scarred (so he claims).  As
soon as he could he arranged to get himself snipped, and then joined the
brigades of circumcision proselytizers in the newsgroups advocating the
joys of a free willy.  His main argument is how much better he was able to
masturbate after getting circumcised without that "pesky foreskin" getting
in the way of his enjoyment, and he has made it his mission in life to
spread the circumcision gospel.

9.  What's his interest in child sexuality?  That sounds kind of freaky.

Well, everything having to do with Mezei *is* freaky.  Among the subjects
dear to his heart are the genitals of little boys and girls, especially
little boy's foreskins (and how tight they are) and little girls' hymens.
He is also a tireless activist and advocate that children should be taught
to masturbate early on so that they don't grow up "sexually repressed like
Americans".

He also counsels all parents of boys that they constantly check their
little boys' penises and foreskins frequently to ensure a good fit, proper
movement, and that they be able to masturbate with no problems.  Utopia for
JF would be a world full of parents manipulating their little boys'
penises.

10.  Ewww!  This guy is sounding more and more disgusting by the minute!
Are you sure about all this stuff?

Yes, you can check the google archives for yourself.  There's over a decade
full of Mezei trolling in there.

11.  How can I find all that out, doesn't he change aliases all the time
like all trolls do?

Of course!  See the appendix below for a list of many of his known trolling
aliases.

12.  So where does this guy get so much time to troll, doesn't he work?

Ha ha ha!  JF hasn't worked a day in his life!  He's an adult baby, a grown
man who still lives at home with mommy and sleeps all day and trolls the
newsgroups all night.  In his free time when he isn't trolling he likes to
ride his bike down to Dorval Airport and race the planes down the runway in
his bike.

13.  That seems strange, is he mentally ill or something?

Bingo!  JF is a boy in a grown man's body.  Psychologically he never got
past the age of 13 and got stuck in a world of bathroom humor (i.e. "pull
my finger!") and locker room antics that he has never been able to outgrow.

14.  Speaking of locker rooms, I heard he has a sexual fetish about them,
is that true?

Yes!  JF goes to the gym not to work out but to watch men in the locker
room.  He loves to post about the male sexual organs he has seen in locker
rooms over the years, especially his unnatural obsession with foreskins.
He stalks the men in locker rooms trying to measure how much foreskin they
have, or how little is left if they have been circumcised.  He gets
extremely excited when he spots a case of phimosis.

15.  Oh my Gawd, this guy is nuts!  He should be locked up in an insane
asylum!

Yep, JF is certifiably insane.  He lives in a black helicopter / tin foil
hat world where others are out to get him.  The key to understanding JF is
that he sees himself as a VICTIM.  To JF the world is out to get him,
especially the USA.  Victimhood is what JF is all about.

What seems to have sent him over the edge was when the Canadian rail system
was "killed", in his words.  He used to be a major train nut, spotting
trains, writing down their numbers and chasing them down at the train yard
like a good freak.  Then he turned his attention to aviation.  Major events
that made him fall head first deep into the abyss were the bankruptcy of
Canadian Airlines and their subsequent takeover by Air Canada (whom he sees
as evil).  So paranoid is he that when an Air Canada plane crashed he
claimed that Air Canada employees went lurking about in the night with
buckets of white paint to cover up the Air Canada markings.  He saw that as
symbolic of a cover up of the crash investigation.  He has never recovered
from this.

16.  Where else does he hang out, I want to avoid him!

His main haunt on usenet is comp.os.vms, a newsgroup dedicated to some
ancient, arcane, obsolete piece of vax crapware that nobody has taken
seriously for decades.  JF hangs out there with other misfits and social
dropouts who share his psychological traumas, crying for the good old vax
days of yore.  It's really pathetic!

17.  Where else does he hang out?

can.internet.highspeed, alt.cellular.fido, and a few other geeky computer
groups.  For a while after the Shuttle Columbia disaster he invaded the
sci.space groups, sci.space.shuttle in particular, and trolled it
relentlessly with the anti-American, conspiracy theory crap he's so famous
for.  But they ran him off that group and he had to go crawling back to
comp.os.vms with his tail between his legs, licking his wounds.

18.  It sounds like comp.os.vms is the only group he respects and doesn't
troll.

Pretty much.  For a megatroll like JF it's impossible not to troll, so he
slips in troll bait every now and then, but by and large he respects
comp.os.vms, and, more importantly, he tries to hide his trolling
activities from them so they won't find out what a major netkook he is.

19.  Wow, sounds like he should be exposed so they will know what kind of
psycho he is!

Exactly.  Feel free to post all his trolls to comp.os.vms.  And while
you're at it post them to can.internet.highspeed and alt.cellular.fido too.
And to alt.usenet.kooks, a group for the likes of JF, and
news.admin.net-abuse.usenet.

20.  What else can I do?  Is there an abuse address?

Yes, you should send complaints along with copies of his troll posts to:

abuse@sympatico.ca
abuse@bellglobal.com
abuse@istop.com

And feel free to distribute this FAQ freely.  Post it to newsgroups, email
it to people, you may host it at your own website, send it to newspapers
and magazines that do Internet articles or anything to do with Montreal or
Canada, etc.

*** APPENDIX ***

List of some of the many trolling aliases used by Mezei over the years.
This is only a partial list, he has so many it's impossible to compile a
full list.

jfmezei@istop.com
jfmezei.spamnot@istop.com
jfmezei@videotron.ca
jfmezei@vl.videotron.ca
nospam.jfmezei@videotron.ca
"jfmezei"@videotron.ca[nospam]

nobody <nobody@nobody.com>
nobody <nobody@nobody.net>
nobody <nobody@nobody.org>
nobody <nobody@nobody.info>
nobody <nobody@nobody.int>
nobody <nobody@nothing.nil>
nobody <nobody@null.dev>
snowy squirrel <squirrel@nest.tree>
Conspiracy Theory <conspiracy@theory.org>
Lou Raccoon <L.Raccoon@wilderness.org>
Flapping Labias <flabia@anatomy.org>
Throbbing vulva <t.vulva@anatomy.org>
Twin Gonads <two@gonads.com>
Loose Scrotum <l.scrotum@anatomy.org>
Raised Organ <R.Organ@anatomy.org>
Popped Cherry <P.Cherry@anatomy.org>
Monica Lewinski <billclinton@westchester.com>
Deep Fried Foreskin <dff@mcdonalds.com>
Aroma of Smegma <aroma@chanel.org>
Wet fart <w.Fart@smell.org>
Pubic dandruff <P.dandruff@anatomy.org>
Voluptuous Nipple <V.nipple@anatomy.org>
Inserted Finger <I.Finger@anatomy.org>
Pubic Nair <shaved@anatomy.org>
Flatulent Meatus <F.Meatus@anatomy.org>
Lihk Mhygroin <L.MyGroin@anatomy.org>
Pre Khum <P.Khum@anatomy.org>
Phi Mosis <Phi.Mosis@anatomy.org>
Bal Anatis <Bal.Anatis@anatomy.org>
Fren Ullum <F.Ullum@anatomy.org>
Ivanna Getlaid <I.Getlaid@onani.org>
Ivanna Wankalot <I.Wankalot@onani.org>
Ivanna Umpalot <Humpalot@drevil.com>
Wan Tnoneofit <W.Tnoneofit@weirdnames.org>
Wan Itbad <W.Itbad@inneed.org>
Wan Towank <W.ToWank@anatomy.org>
Wan Tolik <w.tolik@anatomy.org>
Testos Terone <t.terone@anatomy.org>
Upper Gonad <U.Gonad@anatomy.org>
Right Gonad <R.Gonad@anatomy.org>
Left Gonad <L.Gonad@anatomy.org>
Tyson's Glands <Tyson.G@anatomy.org>
Nose Hair <n.hair@anatomy.org>
Coronal Sulcus <C.Sulcus@anatomy.org>
Corpus Cavernus <manhood@anatomy.org>
Armpit moisture <armpit@anatomy.org>
Onani Room <onani@hotels.com>
Arnie's Banana <weiner@terminator.com>
Raised eyebrows <r.eyebrows@anatomy.org>
Vas Deferens <V.deferens@anatomy.org>
Naked Canuck <N.canuck@naturists.org>
Arni's socks <Smelly.Socks@arnold.org>
Notable Exception <N.exception@untied.com>
Unpopped Cherry <U.Cherry@anatomy.org>
Tatooed Ovaries <T.Ovaries@anatomy.org>
Pierced eyelid <p.eyelid@piercings.org>
Limp Tomato <limp.tomato@vegetables.org>
Eggplant Earrings <e.earrings@piercings.org>
Banana Underpants <B.Underpants@hillfiger.org>
Naval Lint <navel@lint.mil>
Ingrown Toenail <i.toenail@anatomy.org>
Empty Stomach <E.Stomach@anatomy.org>
Full Stomach <f.stomach@anatomy.org>
Smelly Cat <S.Cat@friends.nbc.com>
Torn Ligament <T.Ligament@anatomy.org>
Art Tistic <A.Tistic@modern.museum>
Furry Raccoon <F.Raccoon@wilderness.org>
Wet Racoon <W.Racoon@wildnerness.org>
Mad Racoon <M.Racoon@wildlife.org>
Lazy Racoon <L.Racoon@wilderness.org>
Eaten Racoon <E.Raccoon@mcdonalds.com>
Happy Raccoon <H.Racoon@wilderness.org>
Sleeping Racoon <S.Racoon@wilderness.org>
Hungry Racoon <H.Racoon@wilderness.org>
Horny Raccoon <H.Racoon@fauna.org>
Smart Raccoon <S.Raccoon@wilderness.org>
George W Raccoon <GW.Raccoon@wilderness.org>
Ronald McRaccoon <r.raccoon@wilderness.org>
Thirsty Raccoon <T.Raccoon@wilderness.org>
Johnny Raccoon <J.Racoon@wilderness.org>
Oshi Santo <O.Santo@nx01.starfleet.org>
Oishi Chinko <O.Chinko@nx01.starfleet.org>
T.Yellow <T.Yellow@nowhere.com>
Q <queue@continuum.net>
Borg Queen <1of1@borg.org>
Ronald Wilkerson <wilkersonr@sympatico.ca>
John Balterman <j.balterman@sympatico.ca>

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